Arguing Cause Peer Review Mitch Vollhaber

How are my counter arguments?
Good! — Emilie Brouse

Is there any time in this paper when I start to solve the issue instead of arguing cause?
Not that I could see. — Emilie Brouse

Does the argument answer the basic question: Why did this happen? What questions are you left with after reading the argument?
Yes. I wasn't left with any real pressing questions after reading your argument. — Emilie Brouse

Does the writer establish that the problem exists and that we should care about it? What is missing?
Yes. — Emilie Brouse

What seem to be the main points of the argument?
Some main points of your argument seem to be why energy drinks are dangerous, why people of today's world may choose to consume energy drinks, the substantial increase in energy drink consumption and some side effects of regular energy drink consumption. — Emilie Brouse

Does the writer genuinely address opposition? What additional opposing viewpoints could the writer address? Can you imagine other objections to the argument?
I thought that you did address your argument's opposition genuinely, but perhaps more opposing viewpoints could be included. — Emilie Brouse

What were your reactions to the text as you were reading it?
I thought it was a well researched argument, but the amount of grammatical errors in your paper is distracting and hard to take seriously. — Emilie Brouse

What is the argument's greatest weakness?
There are a lot of grammatical errors. Some examples— "In today's world we live in an environment where it seems like there is not enough hours in the day to accomplish…" should be: "In today's world, we live in an environment where it seems like there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish…"
"To make up of that loss of sleep…" should be: "To make up for that loss of sleep…"
"The general public are not aware of the risks they are exposing themselves to…" should be "The general public is not aware of the risks they are exposing themselves to…"
"Many people believe that the cause of these hospital visits are due…" should be "Many believe that the cause of these hospital visits is due…"
"In a recent study performed in Australia where seven years of call data were examined from the NSW Poisons Information Center…" should be "In a recent study performed in Australia where seven years of call data was examined from the NSW Poisons Information Center…"
"Energy drinks have a lot more ingredients, some of which have not been thoroughly researched, than a coffee drink which is usually just water strained through crushed coffee beans." should be "Energy drinks have a lot more ingredients (some of which have not been thoroughly researched) than a coffee drink, which is usually just water strained through crushed coffee beans." — Emilie Brouse

What is the argument's greatest strength?
You provided a lot of solid evidence to back up your argument! — Emilie Brouse

1) You never really start to solve the problem, but just state what the problem is.
2) You never really state how to fix the problem, besides getting the information out to the public, and the dangerous threat it propose that many are unaware of.
You give a good amount of direct quotes from professionals that make aware to the reader you know exactly what you are talking about. You answer each question I had about energy, like what ingredients are bad for us, and why don't we know more about this. The main points are that lack of knowledge of the public, and how even people making the drinks to not understand the poison they are putting in the drinks. Cigarettes have to put my cause lung cancer, why doesn't energy drinks have to put the dangers of consumer their products. You explain very well why people use energy drinks and whats the purpose, which is very accurate; I can relate. After reading this, I haven't really changed my opinion on energy drinks, I knew they are not good for me, yet I'll still drink them when I need the boost of energy. Your arguments greatest weakness is the attitude towards how energy drinks are all bad, and your greatest strength is your quotes.
-Sarah-Anne B. Hoit

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