Arguing Cause Peer Review Sarah Hoit

Does my draft have too many facts?
MV- I do not think you have too many facts but I think you need to go into more detail about each fact. -MV
-No you have plenty of facts all you need is more facts for counter argument (Alex Gerondale)

Does it the cause arguments flow alright?
MV- I think what you have so far flows alright. It will be a lot better once you expand more on each paragraph. -MV

-It was definitely eye catching and made me wanted to read more, just add more detail (Alex Gerondale)

◦Does the argument answer the basic question: Why did this happen? What questions are you left with after reading the argument?

-Yes it explains the cause pretty well, it just needs more in depth detail to keep things going (Alex Gerondale)

◦Does the writer establish that the problem exists and that we should care about it? What is missing?

-Yes it was great and gave details that made me care about what is happening in today society. (Alex Gerondale)

◦What seem to be the main points of the argument?

-That inactivity and expansion in the fast food market has made people obese and unhealthy (Alex Gerondale)

◦Does the writer genuinely address opposition? What additional opposing viewpoints could the writer address? Can you imagine other objections to the argument?

-No but I'm guessing you will note the opposition in time. You can use view points like physical body or genes effect obesity. (Alex Gerondale)

◦What were your reactions to the text as you were reading it?

-That I wanted to know more about how companies are making products to make people obese. Big Gulp cups seem bad (Alex Gerondale)

◦What is the argument's greatest weakness?

-Just needs more detail and counter argument. (Alex Gerondale)

◦What is the argument's greatest strength?

Catching readers attention and having a strong points on cause. (Alex Gerondale)

MV- The argument answers the majority of the basic questions. I would just like to see some supporting evidence from the facts you have used. The major points seem to be house employees are trained to sell bigger sizes at fast food establishments as well as how social media is involved with the obesity epidemic. I think that a few more counter arguments could be addressed. I found some of the facts you used very interesting just make sure you cite them! I think this arguments greatest weakness is its current length and the amount for support there are for the facts. I think the greatest strengths are the facts that you have used to back up your argument. -MV

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