Argument Cause Peer Review Dejong

My Questions:

  • During any time during the argument do I ever try to "solve" the problem?
  • Do I need more of a conclusion?
  • Any breaks in the writing that I need better transitions for?

Required Questions:

  • Does the argument answer the basic question: Why did this happen? What questions are you left with after reading the argument?
  • Does the writer establish that the problem exists and that we should care about it? What is missing?
  • What seem to be the main points of the argument?
  • Does the writer genuinely address opposition? What additional opposing viewpoints could the writer address? Can you imagine other objections to the argument?
  • What were your reactions to the text as you were reading it?
  • What is the argument's greatest weakness?
  • What is the argument's greatest strength?

Carly Dietrich
1. I don't think you ever tried to solve the problem. You were simply stating the problem and giving facts and statistics.
2. I think you could add a tiny bit more into your conclusion. I really like the quote you used to explain your point of view! But, I think elaborating a little more would be good. Just a little more of a summary would do the trick I think!
3. Towards the end of you argument, you start giving a lot of statistic to us. Which is really good because you instantly became more credible! Maybe try to make it a little more fluent so it doesn't just sound like a ton of numbers being named off.
4. You did a good job, I really wasn't wondering about anything after reading.
5. Yes, you establish the problem. And you make us care by giving the examples of how much this is costing us, and also the environmental impacts. You did a good job!
6. Bottled water is hurting us economically, hurting our environment. And also, tap water is basically the same ting as bottled water.
7. This is the only area that I feel you need a little improvement. Add a few in and I think that it will help you a ton!
8. I really believe you know what you are talking about. I never felt that anything was made-up. I also really liked you introduction. I like that fact about how bottled water has bypassed all other bottled beverages. I thought that was interesting!
9. You need more opposing arguments! And maybe a little choppy at times, but other than that I thought you did really well!
10. Your use of statistics was really good! It made me believe in what you were writing.

Autumn Flicek
1. No you did good with staying on track of just arguing your cause of the problem.
2. For the conclusion you could probably add a bit more but what you have is solid, maybe just recap your main and strongest points.
3. The only one I thought you could transition better would be to when you start talking about how the waste gets into the ocean and affects the animals which then affects people when they die and wash up on shore.
4. The paper answers the main question, I wasn't left with any questions, good job!
5. Yes you establish that the problem exists and that we should care about it, you really got your point across with all the facts and supporting evidence with the numbers you throw out and the pollutions issues from bottles that don't get recycled.
6. If you could use maybe one more opposing argument and then counter argue it, it might make your paper a little stronger. But I think you did a good job of addressing opposing arguments and then backing up your counter argument with solid facts from good sources.
7. My reactions to the text were I was shocked by the facts about water bottles, I new they were wasteful but I didn't realize there were so many things bad about them.
8. The only weakness I can really think of is that you address how tap water and bottled water are basically the same and have no difference.
9. But then your greatest strength is you address that and explain that it's not the water that's necessarily is the problem, a lot of the problem is the water bottle and the pollution from this.

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