Peer Review B E
  • Is my argument played out in a fluent way?

Luke-Yes it is very fluent.
Noelle-It is very fluent and flows well.
Livia - Yes, although there are a few choppy sentences. Otherwise, I think it's very fluent

  • Did I ramble or lose track anywhere? If so, where?

Luke- Maybe a little in the middle of your argument, but if you go back and re read it maybe you can change it.
Noelle-I agree with Luke, slightly towards the middle you seem to get slightly off track, but it should be an easy fix.
Livia - Overall, I think you stay on track. I'm not sure if it's just because I know nothing about the topic but sometimes it seemed like there was a lot of information (quotes, statistics, etc.) in a few paragraphs that made it a little hard to follow.

  • Does the argument answer the basic question: Why did this happen? What questions are you left with after reading the argument?

Luke-Yes, no questions.
Noelle-yes, it leaves no questions and is easy for a person to fully understand.
Livia - I think you nailed everything, I'm not left with any questions.

  • Does the writer establish that the problem exists and that we should care about it?

Luke-Yes she did!
Noelle-Yes! You clearly established that it should be a concern.
Livia - Yes, I can tell the writer spent a lot of time first gathering information and facts before writing this

  • Does the writer genuinely address opposition? What additional opposing viewpoints could the writer address? Can you imagine other objections to the argument?

Luke-Yes she does, and no objections.
Noelle-Yes, you do a good job addressing both sides of the issue.
Livia - Yes, in each paragraph you seemed to counter-argue what's currently being done or what will be done in the near future. It's hard to argue something without sounding too biased and I think you did a great job establishing both points-of-view.

  • What is the argument's greatest weakness? What would you recommend they revise before the next draft is due?

Luke- I felt lost reading it at some places, it felt almost a little repetitive.
Noelle-like I said, you get a little off in the middle, otherwise good.
Livia - I agree with Luke's comment. Again, it may be because I know nothing about the topic but it just seemed like a lot of information with little breaks was fit in a few paragraphs. Consider trying to smooth it out with transition words and explain who/what your sources are (what are the positions of the people you quoted)

  • What is the argument's greatest strength?

Luke- It was a very good long argument, i struggled finding a weakness so that alone is a strength.
Noelle-It was structured well and had a good flow. Also, addressed both sides well.
Livia - I can tell you know a great deal about the topic and feel strongly about fixing the problem. You've managed to make me interested in the problem and address varying points-of-view while emphasizing your own argument. I love your concluding paragraph as well.

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