Solution Peer Review Allison Morrow

What else can I add to this paper?

MV I think you could go into more detail in your counterarguments for both the cause and the solution. MV

Reviewer 1
Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?

MV I think that you have good sources but you should go through your paper and look closely at your in text citations. I think you have a few quotes that are lacking citations. MV

Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?

MV I think it would be helpful if you expanded more on each of the counterarguments that you mention at the end of your solution proposal. MV

Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?

MV At times I had a hard time telling which part of your paper I was transitioning into. Maybe it would be helpful to add a sentence here or there to help the reader follow the flow of the paper better. MV

What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?

MV I did not have any unanswered questions but I did feel like the paper ended without a proper conclusion. MV

What were the most memorable pieces of text?

MV I found they way you incorporated specific events where certain individuals died from energy drinks to be memorable parts of your paper. MV

What is the writing's greatest weakness?

MV There were some grammar and spelling errors which mostly seemed like typos that need to be fixed in order for your paper to be taken more seriously. MV

What is the essay's greatest strength?

MV Your sources and the quotes that you pull from them really help support your claims about energy drinks. MV

Reviewer 2 -Rachel Modrow
Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?
Yes, all the sources help support the claims and they dont over power the paper at all.

Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?
yes, I like how you discuss dietary supplements and how they dont need approval.

Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?
yes, very good.

What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?
no

What were the most memorable pieces of text?
heart rates going up and the study at wayne state.

What is the writing's greatest weakness?
If you need to add more words I would expand the caffeine paragraph (3rd paragraph) and you can expand the paragraph about long and short term effects (4th paragraph)

What is the essay's greatest strength?
talking about how there is lots of extra caffeine that no one knows about and the stuff about the FDA not regulating them.

•Does it help you re-vision your proposal? Not really
•If so, how? If not, why not? It only helped with the counterarguments and fixing errors.
•Did you incorporate any of these comments into your revision of your draft?
Im going to expand on my counterarguments.

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