Solution Proposal Peer Review Bob Kinne

Ryan's review
Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?
Your outside sources help support your claim by providing information on stats. Like the use of percentages and numbers.

Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?
Maybe go into more options on solutions but argue your solution in your favor. Maybe say is there a solution to addressing fast foods and unhealthy foods or Giving tips on how to stay healthy so that you can expand your paper.

Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?
Your organization is easy to fallow

What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?
Are there any other ways that could help reduce obesity obesity significantly.

What were the most memorable pieces of text?
the fact that schools have the best solution to solving a large percent of the obesity problem.

What is the writing's greatest weakness?
Some sentences get confusing but its just because some of the words needed to be changed.

What is the essay's greatest strength?
I found that the greatest strength was that you supported the best solution very well.

Notes: To me I thought the paper was great but just go threw it and look at spelling and sentences that look confusing.


Peer Review: Sarah Hoit (:
◦Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?
I feel that your best part of your paper is how you coordinated your opinion with your sources. You incorporate them well, and they flow with your thoughts.

◦Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?
You didn't mention much on fast food, which is a most thought of responsibility of obesity in America, you could use that as an counterargument in your paper.

◦Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?
You kind of go back and forth from eating healthy, to exercising daily.

◦What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?
Has there been more recent studies?

◦What were the most memorable pieces of text?
The most memorable pieces of the text was the research on children's school lunches, it was interesting and had a lot of facts.

◦What is the writing's greatest weakness?
Sentence structure; Your sentences make sense but they sound awkward.

◦What is the essay's greatest strength?
Your facts and references are very well organized in your paper.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License