Solution Proposal Peer Review Courtney Haas

Do you as the writer have any questions for your reviewers? If so, post them here:
Where can I expand?
Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?
Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?
Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?
What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?
What were the most memorable pieces of text?
What is the writing's greatest weakness?
What is the essay's greatest strength?

Yes I think that the outside sources that you are using are good, but I feel that it is overwhelming your voice in the paper.
It is starting to get there but I can tell you are not finished but on track.
Yes the flow of the paper is good just need to put in more of your own thoughts.
All of the stats from the Mayo Clinic.
I would say the weakness is that it needs more of your own words.
That it has very good facts that you can go off of.
Luke Fox

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