Solution Proposal Peer Review Hillger

Writers: Do you have any questions for your reviewers? If so, post them here:

Reviewers:

First: Please answer the writer's questions.^^

Then: Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?

Beth- The quotations are a little lengthy, and I got lost during them.
Livia - I agree with Beth's comment; although the examples you included definitely supported your stance, it's overwhelming the essay

Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?

Beth- It did not respond to opposing viewpoints and it barely covered solutions. I think you need a few more paragraphs to outline opposing views and create a solution. Some people must think athletes deserved to be paid?
Livia - Again, I agree with Beth. I did not see any opposing arguments and your proposal was only a few sentences. Focus less on the examples you provided and more on proposing a solution and gathering facts/evidence to back up your proposed solution.

Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?

Beth- The organization is easy to follow.
Livia - It's easy to follow; add a few transition sentences within your first few paragraphs to help make it sound smoother

What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?

Beth- What is a solution to this problem?
Livia - You did not provide a substantial proposal, so I don't know what it is.

What were the most memorable pieces of text?

Beth- Probably the examples of the teams paying their athletes.
Livia - You provided a lot of great example

What is the writing's greatest weakness?

Beth- You use "I" and "me" a lot in the writing, which is pretty informal. Other than that, you need more information about opposing views and solutions.
Livia - I agree with Beth; try to stay away from using "I" and make it more third person. Although you provided great examples, you did not include any opposing arguments and your proposed solution was very short.

What is the essay's greatest strength?

Beth- It is an interesting topic and I enjoy the examples of real universities.
Livia - I like your introduction and all the examples you provided

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