Solution Proposal Peer Review Jd


1. I'm slightly short the amount of words necessary. Is there anything else you think I should add or go into more detail about that would help my paper?

◦Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?
◦Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?
◦Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?
◦What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?
◦What were the most memorable pieces of text?
◦What is the writing's greatest weakness?
◦What is the essay's greatest strength?

Olivia Knutson-
Very good paper over all. I think if you want to expand on something maybe go into more detail on the adverse effects of a diet composed of excess protein. Maybe discuss a little more what could happen to the athlete if they overdose on protein regularly.

  • The sources support the claims. Maybe a few too many in the 4th paragraph but I think they are okay because they do not drown out your writing.
  • Yes, it addressed all the counterarguments I could think of. Maybe something on how people think it'd be better to go over board on protein than to lack it in the athletes diet.
  • Yes, very good organization.
  • The question I had after reading this is what happens to an athlete if they consume too much protein. You went into it a little but it might be beneficial to stress those points.
  • Very memorable on the way marketing is channeled towards the emotional side of things so people don't tend to care about the info.
  • I didn't see any alarming weaknesses.
  • In my opinion the strength of the writing would be all of the sources that comply with your statements. Solid research to back up your claims.

Brittany Watschke-

I agree with Olivia on expanding about effects of excess protein. You could talk about the most popular supplements on the market right now and explain what they actually do the body. You did a good job using your sources, except you need more sources in your paper. The sources you did use backed up your argument very well. You had good counterarguments. Like Olivia said, have a counterargument about someone who thinks having more protein then not enough is better. Your paper is really easy to follow and very good organization. A question I have is, what really happens to the body with too much protein. I thought it was surprising that this thought that too much protein was good came from adds and that people who work at these supplement stores actually don't know anything really about their products. They are just suppose to sell it. A weakness would be not having enough sources. A strength would be organization and how you used your sources. I thought your paper was very strong!


•Does it help you re-vision your proposal?
•If so, how? If not, why not?
•Did you incorporate any of these comments into your revision of your draft?

I think that peer reviews help a little with making our proposals the best that they can be, however it really depends on the individual that is revising it. Some help a lot and are vital to writing a good paper, but other don't get any useful feed back. I am kind of using the revisions just to make sure that me writing flows well and makes sense to someone that does not know a lot or anything about the topic. I went back and revised some of the comments that they made but my causal argument (the top half of the paper) .

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