Solution Proposal Peer Review Lb

Writers: Do you have any questions for your reviewers? If so, post them here:


First: Please answer the writer's questions.^^

Then: Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?

The support by sources is used efficiently. JB
Yes, the support helps the writer's claim. KW

Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?

You said the biggest cause of the problem is under education. What are the other causes? JB
As stated above you do make clear that the problem is under education but, what are the other causes? For example what are other causes for athletes blindly taking what they can take? KW

Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?

It seems like the essay goes from explaining the problem to solution to causes. Might want to consider revising things. JB
It is easy to follow, make sure you reach the word count by providing more details on your issue. KW

What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?

How would the board of the NCAA go about loosening its grip on the students? Explaining this might add some length to the writing. JB
As JB stated above explaining issues such as why NCAA is too strict to the point students are losing their eligibility. KW

What were the most memorable pieces of text?

I was unaware that the rules were so strict with protein shakes and drinking pop. JB
I found it surprising how the banning of specific ingredients. KW

What is the writing's greatest weakness?

Length and number of sources. Make sure to include a works cited so we can see the credentials of the source. JB
Sources, length, & concise explanation for readers to understand the situation fully. KW

What is the essay's greatest strength?

Appeals to a very big market. There is a lot of weight hanging on this problem so it is good to address it. JB
It relates to many atheletes today, especially future athletes. It's rather a topic no one tend to brings up but, is considered a big issue. KW

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