Solution Proposal Peer Review Rachel Modrow

Reviewer 1: Ali Morrow
Do you as the writer have any questions for your reviewers? If so, post them here:
Reviewers:
Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?
~You have a lot of good sources and quotes that do really help your paper, However I feel like they do take over most of your paper. Most of your paragraphs are full of quotes. I would expand the paragraphs and add more of your own writing. This will help you meet your word length and provide more information.

Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?
~ You should address more at length about the counter argument. There are other counterarguments you have missed such as banning energy drinks for minors, just banning all of them, Or just making it illegal to sell energy drinks with alcohol in them.

Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?
~For the most part it is easy to follow and read. I would just look over word choice and the sentences some places it is a little choppy but overall it is pretty good.

What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?
~I don't think your paper is missing anything. I would just go more in depth with some of your paragraphs that are filled with quotes and focus more on the counterarguments.

What were the most memorable pieces of text?
~ I liked the part about the coffee, I really had no idea that coffee could stay inside your body for so long.

What is the writing's greatest weakness?
~There are some sentences inside your solution paper that do repeat. I would look over it carefully and reread it to make sure the paragraphs do not all sound the same.

What is the essay's greatest strength?
~You had a lot of good information and quotes that really makes your paper informative and persuasive.

Reviewer 2:
Do you as the writer have any questions for your reviewers? If so, post them here:
Reviewers:
Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?

MV I think that you had good sources and you used quotes from them wisely so they did not overwhelm your own writing. MV

Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?

MV I think you could look into a few other counterarguments for the solutions which would add some length to your paper too. Consider looking into other regulation options on the state or local level. MV

Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?

MV I found the organization of your paper pretty easy to follow but you need to put a good conclusion in there to sum everything up. MV

What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?

MV I was not left with any unanswered questions, but again add in a conclusion! MV

What were the most memorable pieces of text?

MV I thought the research you found on coffee consumption to be interesting since I start everyday with at least one cup of Joe. MV

What is the writing's greatest weakness?

MV I bolded a few sentences that could be rewritten to read a little easier and one or two grammar mistakes. I think the lack of a solid conclusion is this paper's biggest weakness. MV

What is the essay's greatest strength?

MV I think that the greatest strength is the way you used your sources just enough to support your claims without letting them take over your own writing. MV


The peer review advice did help. I added a conclusion and went over my paragraphs to try not to repeat things. I also tried to make my counterargument a little but stronger. -Rachel Modrow

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