Solution Proposal Peer Review- Sarah Hoit

•Do you as the writer have any questions for your reviewers? If so, post them here:

  • Consider outside sources. Do they help support the writer's claims? Do the sources of support take over any portions of the writing and overwhelm the writer's voice?

Sean: In certain parts in the beginning I feel the source takes over, and I am not reading your own words. I would consider changing this. For the most part however, these sources are pretty supporting in your writing.

  • Did the proposal anticipate and respond to all valid arguments (opposing viewpoints)? What additional counterarguments and/or concessions would be helpful?

Sean: There were no valid arguments, I could tell however that you were not done. Therefore, I would recommend that you add at least two or three good paragraphs of counter arguments. I would give you suggestions but I couldn't find if you had even added your solution to the problem yet.

  • Is the organization of the writing easy to follow?

Sean: The organization is actually a little tricking at first, I do not know what you are getting at from one topic to the other. I would look at it and see if you can just order some of the info differently.

  • Where Can I Expand?

Sean: I can tell you are not done yet, but something to expand on when completing would be various counter arguments to your proposal. Also, I would try and make your argument the most believable.

  • What questions are raised in your mind after reading this proposal? Is anything missing?

Sean: What is your solution to the problem? I may have missed it, but I never really noticed anything that stuck out that you offered as a solution.

  • What is the writing's greatest weakness?

Sean: The greatest weakness would be the lack of clarity. I never really understood the solution. The cause is stated but what about the solution?

  • What is the essay's greatest strength?

Sean: The greatest strength in the paper would be the the sources you have. I feel that your sources are strong for the topic you are pursuing. Just make sure to find a couple more and make them correlate with your solution.

Does it help you re-vision your proposal? Yes
If so, how? If not, why not? I need to state my solution more clearly, and work on putting my own voice in the paper.
Did you incorporate any of these comments into your revision of your draft? Yes

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